Dear Dr. Byrne
We are submitting our article: "DlgS97 is essential for short term memory in Drosophila", by the authors Carlos Oliva and Jimena Sierralta, so that you consider its publication in your prestigious journal Learning and Memory. The manuscript has been written and approved by all of the authors. Our study is not under consideration at any other journal for publication and we have not conflict of interest.
We think that our study is potentially interesting for Learning and Memory readers, because it shows for the first time an in vivo role of Dlg in the memory storage. Since the complete mutation of dlg gene is lethal, precluding any intent of perform this kind of study, we used a mutant of a specific splicing variant that knock out just one of the two products of the dlg gene. This mutant is viable and has not defects in the basic brain architecture.
Sincerely
Carlos Oliva PhD Student
Physiology and Biophysics department
Faculty of Medicine
University of Chile
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Hello Carlos,
ResponderEliminarHere are some suggestions to improve your letter, which is very good already:
1. Erase "our", clearly it is yours...write "the" instead
2. The first paragraph is too long. I suggest to cut it as follows: "We are submitting THE article "DlgS97 is essential for short term memory in Drosophila" authored by Carlos Oliva and Jimena Sierralta, so that you consider its publication in Learning and Memory.
3. I think you should refer to the study, its potential, etc in the next paragraph. If you leave it to the end, you may run the risk that the editor gets bored and doesn´t read the essential part, which is, after all, your study.
4. Replace "We think" by "We believe"..sounds better
5. Replace "our study" by "this study".
6. after shows you need a comma, because "for the first time" is an important sentence, so you need to emphasize it.
7. After a preposition you use a verb in the ing form, so say "of performing".
8. variant that knockS, deffects
9. Start a new paragraph from "The manuscript has been written and approved by all of the authors". Erase "all of the authors" and write "by both authors" instead.
10. The following paragraph "Our study is not under consideration at any other journal for publication and we have not conflict of interest" I suggest you change to "This study has not been submitted for publication elsewhere, and to our knowledge there is no conflict of interests".
11. Include your email address and other contact details like phone number.
Hope these suggestions are helpful.
Best,
Claudia